Saturday, December 3, 2016

Recipe for Brunch

Scour local newspapers and websites until you find a new bakery opening up down the block from you. Well, actually, two miles away but you need the exercise.

Walk there -- don't drive! -- and buy a huge loaf of brick-oven bread. Carry the bread home under your arm like a football, imagining you're a pro running-back dodging suburban housewives out shopping for the holiday.

Set the scene. This is important, don't skip this step. Fire up a pot of gourmet-roasted coffee. Put the (vinyl) soundtrack to the original Rocky Horror Picture Show on your turntable. Turn it up loud. No, louder. Don't be a wuss -- LOUDER!

Change into your bright pink robe with polka dots and pom poms. What? You don't have a bright pink robe with polka dots and pom poms? Leave a note for your husband to buy you one for Christmas.

Okay, you're ready to cook. Place 8 large cloves of garlic in a medium frying pan. Add an entire can of anchovies. Toss in two fresh jalapenos for heat. Add imported extra virgin olive oil and wonder how something can be "extra" virgin. Don't forget two pinches of tumeric for color (orange) and health benefit. Splash some Tamari (real soy sauce) and Frank's Hot Sauce ('cause you put that stuff on everything). Turn on the gas stove until you hear the oil bubble. Stir the potion until it becomes an magical elixir. Cackle like a witch (optional).

Pause. Look out the window at approaching Jehovah's Witnesses. Watch as they hear the loud music, then quickly turn around and run away in horror.

Return to the kitchen. Place the bread on the biggest cutting board you have, use a serrated knife and cut four large pieces. Toast or not, depending on your whim.

Spoon the garlicky hot oil spread onto the sliced bread. Savor and realize that life is worth living. Sometimes.

Serves one.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

"Being Canadian" (2015)

I love Canada. I've been to Vancouver, I've been to Toronto. I rode my motorcycle around Nova Scotia on the Cabot Trail. Every experience I've had up North has been a delight. Plus, I have several close friends who live in igloos there.

I was excited to see a new documentary about the country. The film is hilarious. A comedy-writer born in Canada explores important questions about being Canadian by travelling from the east coast to the west coast of the country, interviewing a dozen Canadians along the way. You'll recognize all of them. Seth Rogen, Mike Myers, Dan Ackroyd, William Shatner, Michael J. Fox, Eugene Levy, Jason Priestley, Conan O'Brien, Alanis Morissette, Howie Mandel and Alex Trebek. Your first reaction is, "I didn't know [he/she] was Canadian."

The movie is amusing and educational, focusing on questions like why are Canadians so nice, how do they manage the cold, and why does the rest of the world know nothing about Canada. I laughed and learned throughout the movie. So will you.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Sara and the Mermaid Blanket

My friend Sara is a real Party Cat. She just sent me this picture. Last Summer one of Sara's friends snapped us drinking in Detroit. Come to think of it, that ought to be a song -- "Drinking in Detroit."

Over the years, Sara has proven herself to be an exceptional friend -- because she's an exceptional person. From the first time I met her, I knew Sara was special. I have an instinct for that.

For my birthday this month, Sara bought me a mermaid blanket. How perfect! Now I can relax in style. Ally-Cat style. It even came with a cute necklace.

Thanks, buddy!

Monday, November 21, 2016

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

I've raved before about the cultural -- and personal -- significance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The 1975 movie features Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and Meatloaf. After bombing during its initial run, it gained new life and immortality during midnight shows in cities (like New York where it played for decades at The Waverly Theater). Those raucous shows include substantial audience-participation with props (e.g., rice).

The recent TV re-make was well-intentioned but disappointingly bland and boring. It lacks the bite of the 40-year old classic. The re-make did, however, awaken new hunger in me for the original soundtrack so I went looking for it, On Saturday I found the record at Rough Trade, the hippest vinyl record store in Brooklyn.

The soundtrack is now on high-quality vinyl and... wait for it... is RED! The music sounds great and it's fun to play with a red platter.

"I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey,,,"

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Things I Saw Today

I braved the cold today and rode my motorcycle to a local museum for the opening of a new photography exhibition. The works include masterpieces from the best photographers of all time, like Ansel Adams, Alfred Stieglitz, Dorothea Lange, Cindy Sherman, Robert Mapplethorpe, Diane Arbus and Richard Avedon.

One picture I'd never seen before struck me. Created by Ormond Gigli, it displays 43 models in the windows of a building about to be demolished. Here it is, followed by photos I took of sculpture and a plant on the museum grounds.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

My Lunch

Vampire Salt (from Crimson & Clove) adds the perfect salty kick
to a melted goat cheese sandwich (Humboldt Fog) on toasted multi-grain bread.

I live for meals like this!

Thursday, November 17, 2016


My last fashion experiment was a failure. Which is okay; that's how I learn. My outfit went beyond sober and entered dreary territory.

To clear my palate, I'm returning to my core style -- colorful, playful and lots of leg. It's my wheelhouse. What led me to this was a brief stop at a thrift-store today on my way home from court. I spotted a cute mini-dress in Sixties-era bright pink with a red Eiffel Tower. Really, an Eiffel Tower! Comme c'est fou!

What do you think? Am I back on track?